When feelings are all that's left
by athenades87
Summary: This is how I wanted the ending of the therapy session to go, in episode 5 Fuck the pain away. Pam has to express her feelings toward Tara. Pam/Tara, Tamela, Para.


**This is my take on Pam's therapy session. How I wanted it to go, admitting her feelings for Tara. **

**I own none of the characters of True Blood or the script, purely for entertainment purposes only.**

**The reason I am doing the scene word for word, is because this was my favorite of the episode and I wanted to go exactly like this, except the time in between shots and the ending. I hope you enjoy. **

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Pam crosses her arms and nervously stalks back and forth taking in her surrounding of 20 by 16 room which was decorated to mimic a doctor's study. Looking at every nook and cranny of the room Pam commits it to memory even looking for a place if needed be to escape. She is brought out of her fixation when a 50's something man sitting in a chair speaks.

"Can you lie down for me, please" He asks calmly

"Not until you tell me what the fuck this place is" Pam retorts turning her attention to the man sitting in the chair while un-crossing her arms and shifting her weight onto one leg.

"I thought I already had" He Began "This is a research facility we are here to study you, you're here to be study" He answers still calm as a cucumber.

Pam places her hand on her hips and begins to yet again this time angrily stalk back and forth.

"If you don't want to be studied there are gun pointed at you right now, not metaphorical guns, real guns"

Pam glares at the balding man with destructive eyes wish she could rip his throat out.

"Now, can you please lie down for me"

Pam looks away then looks back at the man, her face hard and unenthusiastic not taking her eyes off him she slowly takes a sit on the couch and lays down. As soon as her head his the pillow and sudden realization comes to the blonde and she jolts to her feet.

"Hold the fuck up am I in therapy?" She bellows

"Well, It's like therapy yes, but with an incentive" he answer's

Pam places her hands on her hips and breathlessly begins "I don't give a shit what the incentive is, Im not gonna talk about my _feelings. _What about the other room" She asks

The man places he hands together "What room are you referring too"

Pam crosses her arms and glares at the floor and looks back up "The one were y'all had vampire's fuckin, under that hideous florescent lightin, put me in that room and I will fuck somebody for y'all." Her southern drawl laced with sensitiveness " I want out of this room, this room is bull shit" She finishes clearly pissed.

The man smiles are Pam's notions " The copulation study is for level 3's, you're a level 1" he pauses for a moment "Our interest in you is more intellectual, we want to know what you think, how you think, what you think about" He pauses again "and we will remain here as long as is takes, until you engage in meaningful conversation"

Clearly defeated and seeing no way out of talking about her _feelings_ Pam gives in. "you mentioned something about an incentive"?

"When was the last time you feed"

"2 days ago" Pam deadpans

"Good"" The man reaches for his notebook sitting on the table beside him " I am going to ask you a series of questions" Pam rolls her eyes at the man's confession " and if I deem your responses truthful we have what we call a living donor program, or L.D.P"

Pam gives the man a sultry smile and slowly takes a seat on the couch and crosses her legs, leaning on one hand Pam begins "And what if I don't _feel _like being a good girl" Her southern drawl heavy with sarcasm and repugnance.

The man looks to his left and points at a container with his pen. "W-Well, you can have watered down True Blood, care to try it"

Clearly outwitted Pam answers "Bring me a donor"

"Male or Female" he asks

Pam cocks her head to the side and let the word "Female" drip from her mouth is lust. Clearly she is trying to test the man in the chair with her sultry voice.

The main squints his eyes at the blonde and leans up for talk into a microphone, pressing the button " Send in Sumchi, please "

He leans back into his seat glaring at the vampire on his couch clearly studying her actions. The sound of code punching and door openings draws Pam attention toward it. She observes a young Asian women walking into the room.

"Hello, my name is Sumchi" she greets Pam with the most innocent of voices

Pam smiles as she slowly lay's back on the therapy couch clearly satisfied with the meal and her self. She folds her hands over stomach "First question" Her eyes licking the lithe frame of the girl in front of her. Looking back toward the man "please" she spoke as sarcasm drowned her last word.

The man opens his book and begins to stutter, clearly stunned at Pam's cooperation " Talk to me about, wha-wha-what value you place on life"

"Human life or vampire life" she deadpans

"let's start with human and work our way up"

"who's the human" she asks unenthused

The man shrugs his shoulders "how bout me, what value do you place on my life" pointing to himself

Pam raises her eye brows "none" she answers unapologetically

"um, can-can you expand on that'

"Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated, you are food, nothing else, you're not even good food, you wreak of tuna fish"

The man scoffs as he jots some notes down

" Truth is, I care more about the life of that tune you ate than I care about you" Pam answers honestly

"very good" the man closes his note book and looks up at the young girl "Sumchi" he nodes

The young women starts to walk around the couch, Pam unfolds her hands and get up to a sitting position, she watches with hungry eyes has the young girl takes a eat in front of her and moves her hair to one side effectively exposing her unmarked neck. Pam grabs the girl by her shoulders and pulls her backwards. She leans down and sniffs the side of the girls neck, closers her eyes she moans. Pam looks back to the therapist, opens her mouth and makes her fangs click into place. The man stares cautiously at the events unfolding before him, he is clearly studying the feeding habits of the vampire. Pam still eyeing the man slowly moves her mouth the girls neck and sinks her fangs. The burst of the flavor on her touch makes Pam grip the shoulders of the donor. The therapist is purely transfixed with process of vampires feeding of humans so he sits and stares. Pam retracts her fangs gives the man a sort of 'hope you're enjoying the show' looks and then sinks her fangs back in.

When Pam is finished with her meal she wipes the blood away from her mouth and she closes the wounds on Sumchi's neck. Clearly satisfied Pam lays on her side and motions for the man to continue his questioning.

"Did you enjoy that" he asks

"It was quite pleasurable" Pam answers acerbically

"So, tell me about how bonds work"

"The longer vampire's nest together the stronger the bond becomes, but it's not a real bond" she answers

"How so"

"Split up a nest one night, the vampires insured they will staking each other the next, if one so much as looks at the other one funny"

"So we shouldn't worry about regrouping vampires, from barracks to barracks to prevent relationships from forming"?

"I don't give a fuck what you worry about, but I agree your worries would be unfounded"

"Thank you, Pam"

The man looks up at a clearly exhausted Sumchi "You're on"

"Actually, Sumchi you can relax, I'm feeling a little full"

"So under ordinary circumstances then you feel no remorse, when you kill another vampire"

"No, I don't" Pam deadpans

"Are you speaking for yourself or for all vampires" The man smiles

"I like to think of myself as especially remorseful, but I doubt any of us gives a fuck"

"Well except when it comes to your maker"

"Yeah, that's a different story"

The man leans up and places his notebook back on the adjacent table "Tell me about your maker, Pam. What was his name, her name"

"what does it matter, he's not my maker anymore he released me" Pam answers rolling on her back

"and how does that work" He asks

"You say the words, as your maker I release you and its done"

"Just like that" he questions

Pam exhales while roller eyes and shaking her head, is clearly isn't a subject she wants to touch upon. The man leans forward in his chair, places his elbows on his knees.

"Did you have any idea it was coming" he asks

Pam gives the therapist a disgusted look "none" she answers impassively

"What did it feel like" he asks curiously

Pam rolls her eyes once more "I feel, nothin"

"Nothing" he asks in bewilderment

Pam lets a smile cross her face as she rises to sitting position "You humans love your pain, don't cha? You just love bein' in it. You even consider it a virtue. Cry the most at a funeral, you must be the best person. You promise to never forget each other. You promise to feel the sting of loss forever. Because for y'all, "forever" is just the blink of an eye. Your lives are pathetically brief. When we say "forever," we have to mean it. So we move past our pain. We heal. We move on. Because pain, is a worthless emotion." Pam words drip from her tongue inscrutability "For a time my maker was everything to me, he released me, it hurt. But now, I'm over it, he's nobody to me"

The therapist leans back in his chair and smiles "I'm not sure, I believe you"

Pam give's him a sideways smile "Looks like you and I are through then Sumchi" looking over at the young women. Returning her attention back to the therapist "You believe what you want suga, I feel for nothing and no one"

"Really" He grabs his book back off the table "So you're telling me that your maker was the only somebody in your life"

Pam shifts on the couch. Tara ran through her mind at that moment. She could still feel her through the bond so she knows she still alive in all sense of the word. The therapist takes notice of the sudden change in posture.

"What aren't you telling me Pam"

Pam stares blankly at the man, she doesn't want to speak of her progeny. She is hers and no one else can have her.

"I don't believe that's any of your goddamn business" she snarls letting her fangs click

The man stay claim in his chair, but give a nod toward the opposite wall Pam hears the sounds of rounds being chambered into guns all around her head. She retracts her fangs and places a hand on her stomach, remember the pain of the gun shot wound she endured not too long ago.

"Fine" she growls "I have a progeny"

"Is that so" The man jots a note in his book

"what's it fucking matter"

"What if your progeny were to be brought to this camp, Pam" he pauses for a moment "how would you feel about that"

Pam sits for a moment pondering and choosing her word carefully "It would be in the best interest for y'all, not to go down that road"

"and why's that" he asks

"because she's mine, and I protect what's mine" her voice snarling with anger

"So in other words, she is where your" He brings up his pointer and middle fingers on bother hand's to imitate quotient marks "nonexistent feelings lie"

"If that's what makes you sleep better at night, then yes, I guess so" Pam barks

The therapist positions himself at the edge of his chair, to get a closer look at Pam's reactions to his next line of questioning.

"Do you love her" he asks

Pam scoffs and rolls her eyes " I don't know"

"Come on now Pam, we need to be truthful here"

Pam exhales sharply "FINE, yes, I think I do"

"Would you do anything for her"

"With out question"

"Would you... kill for her"

Pam narrows her eyes at the man and answers "yes" without hesitation her voice set an octave lower, to clearly get her point across.

The man smiles and leans back into his chair clasps his fingers together and exhales "prove it"

Pam taken aback by the notion she opens her mouth to speak but before she can answer the door of the office swings open and a group of gun baring men enter the room and take Pam by both arms.

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**I had a great time writing this, and it took me quite awhile, so reviews are appreciated.. I am not too happy about the screen time Pam and Tara are getting. So I am making up my own scenarios hope you all enjoyed the story! **


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